May 27, 2014

What has . . .

Filed under: Clean, Groaners — Bad Jim @ 8:48 am

Blame Injun Joe in Arizona:

Q: What has 3 vaginas and 11 teeth?

A: The midnight shift at The Waffle House

May 12, 2014

Home from a fishing trip

Filed under: Clean, Ethnic/Regional Jokes — Bad Jim @ 8:50 am

Compliments of Mohammed in Cairo:
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
“What happened Paddy?” she asks anxiously.
“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened.
“I sent an email to me wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home… and guess what I found… Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I’m done. I am leaving forever!”
“Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!” says his mother-in-law.
“There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile… “Paddy, I told you there must be a simple explanation… she never got your email!”

May 9, 2014

In the News - Neighbor’s home dozed

Filed under: Clean, In the News — Bad Jim @ 10:00 am

From Injun Joe in Az:
Authorities: Woman has neighbors’ home bulldozed
Associated Press

Posted on May 9, 2014 at 5:03 AM
ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (AP) Authorities say a northeast Florida woman who didn’t like her neighbors had their mobile home demolished.

According to an arrest report, Ana Maria Moreta Folch of St. Augustine told a heavy equipment operator that she owned the trailer and wanted it and its septic tank destroyed.

The Florida Times-Union reports that St. Johns County Sheriff’s deputies were called when the trailer’s real owner arrived Monday and found the demolition under way.

The arrest report says Moreta Folch wanted the trailer bulldozed because she thought its occupants were unsavory and she suspected they had broken into her car.

May 5, 2014

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

Filed under: Groaners, Jim's Bad Holidays — Bad Jim @ 2:15 pm

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

May 4, 2014

Happy Star Wars Day!

Filed under: Jim's Bad Holidays — Bad Jim @ 12:41 pm

May the 4th be with you!