April 17, 2013

Senior pick-up line

Filed under: Clean, Geriatrics — Bad Jim @ 4:18 pm

From Uncle Randy in Chicago:
A rather elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive aftershave, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well
looked after image.

Seated at the bar is an elderly fine-looking lady.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, “So tell me, good looking, do I come here often?”

Too soon?

Filed under: Groaners, Personal — Bad Jim @ 9:37 am

A big thanks to Dr Pammy in Snotsdale, Arizona and to Go-Kart Al in Vancouver, BC for their generous contributions to Emily’s Relay for Life fundraiser.
Emily is 355 bux form her goal. There are over 100 folks on Bad Jim’s Jokelist. If each of you would donate a measly $4 she would surpass her goal! It’s easy. Click here:

Dear Bad Jim,
The FBI believes the Boston attack was race related . . . Too soon?

Dear Wacko,
It’s never too soon to limbo beneath Bad Jim*s low standards.
Bad Jim

April 13, 2013

Financial planning

Filed under: Gender Bashing, Personal — Bad Jim @ 1:45 pm

A big thank you to Jim P of the Woodlands, TX; Aggie Brandon in Australia; Da Mo Guai in Dubai; Gina Gardenia, Rich, Larry M and Webfooter of Sugar Land, TX; Roadwarrior Larry of Breckinridge, CO.; Rafgard from Austin, TX; Sandy Sparky Steve in Saudi; Eagle Eye Steve in Pearland, TX.
Also Skatehead Eileen, Wackozacko, MikeMWK and Thespian Ann of Houston
There is still time to get you name in lights on Bad Jim*s Jokelist! Contribute to the American Cancer Society via my step-daughter Emily*s Relay for Life Team. It*s good karma and you Gringos likely could use the tax deduction next April.

AND . . . a great oldie from Queen Eddaline in Stafford, TX:
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
*I may look like just an ordinary guy,* he said to her, *but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.*
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.