Badjim.com

May 31, 2012

Career placement

Filed under: Bad Medicine — Bad Jim @ 8:10 am

RIP: Doc Watson, 1923-2012

Montana Ave claims:
One of the questions from the career placement test given to applicants for job placement was:

“Rearrange the letters ( P N E S I ) to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect.”

Those who spelled SPINE became doctors. The rest of us work in the oilfield.

May 24, 2012

In the News - party animals

Filed under: Clean, In the News — Bad Jim @ 2:06 pm

Bad Jim - OK…. but in Iowa??? Sounds like California!
MWKMike
Houston

Police stop party animals in Iowa
by: John Reiter
An Iowa man was arrested outside the Dog House bar in Dubuque on Sunday night with a pet zebra and a macaw in the front seat of his truck, CNN affiliate KCRG reports. The man was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated, but he denies he intended to leave the pub’s parking lot. He told the station that he and his wife often take their pets for rides and sometimes take them inside the bar.
All righty then.

May 22, 2012

Borowitz:

Filed under: Clean, Politics as usual — Bad Jim @ 2:15 pm

May 20, 2012
Blind Chinese Dissident Already Sick of Kardashians
Sisters’ Omnipresence ‘Troubling,’ Says Chen
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) -In his first interview since arriving in America, blind Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng told reporters today that he is grateful to be in the United States but is already
“sick of these Kardashians.”

“Who are they, and what do they do?” Chen asked. “I have asked these questions of many people, and no one will answer me. It seems to be some kind of state secret.”

After being monitored for years by Chinese authorities, Chen said he finds the omnipresence of the Kardashians “troubling.”

“It almost feels as though I have traded one kind of tyranny for another,” he said.

The dissident said that if the Chinese government knew about the outsize role the Kardashians played in American life “they’d wonder what sort of country they’d bought.”

Chen said that since he had just arrived in New York he would reserve judgment about other aspects of life in the United States, but he did leave reporters with one final observation: “This Facebook IPO seems like total bullshit to me.”

May 18, 2012

In the News - Car vandal

Filed under: Clean, Groaners, In the News — Bad Jim @ 10:51 am

Injuneer Joe in Fountain Hills, AZ writes:

Car vandal takes nothing, leaves tortillas
May. 17, 2012 09:26 AM
Associated Press
SEATTLE — Seattle police are scratching their heads about this one.
A car prowler shattered a window of a parked Jeep, stole nothing and left behind a little something for the car’s owner — a dozen tortillas scattered across the floor. The crime happened last week near the University of Washington.
Bemused by the break-in, police were moved to pun, saying, “The Seattle Police Department would like to take this opportunity to remind car prowlers that you shouldn’t break in to something that’s nachos.”

May 17, 2012

Opening a beer bottle with a chain saw

Filed under: Bad Jim's Pub, Link of the Week — Bad Jim @ 11:10 am

Opening a beer bottle with a chain saw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbK3-EfJd-w&feature=youtu.be

May 14, 2012

Concise instructions

Filed under: Groaners — Bad Jim @ 12:26 pm

RIP: Donald “Duck” Dunn, 1941-2012

“His bass was powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.”

Blame Info Bob in Houston:

Wife texts husband on a cold April morning: “Windows frozen.”
Husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.”
Wife texts back:
“Computer completely fcuked now.”

May 12, 2012

Link of the Week

Filed under: Link of the Week — Bad Jim @ 12:57 pm

RIP: Carroll Shelby, 1923-2012

From Info Bob in Houston:

http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/video/featured/prime-time/867432237001/spice-rack-attack/1557537789001

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