January 30, 2009

Correct medical term

Filed under: Bad Medicine, Gender Bashing — Bad Jim @ 8:45 pm

Blame Terry *Welders do it with hotter rods* Takahashi in Brazil for this one ladies!
Q. What is the correct medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the vag!na?

A. The wife!

January 29, 2009

This will clog your mitral valve

Filed under: Clean, Link of the Week — Bad Jim @ 9:03 pm

Link for the Day contributed by carnivore Info Bob in Houston


January 28, 2009

Sofa so good in case of whisky galore…

Filed under: Bad Jim's Pub, Clean, In the News — Bad Jim @ 7:29 pm

Interesting story, but Barefoot Bob was not impressed as he spent the nineties in the same predicament.
A British man survived more than two days trapped under his sofa by sipping from a bottle of whisky
LONDON (AFP) – A British man survived more than two days trapped under his sofa by sipping from a bottle of whisky, the BBC reported on Tuesday.

Joe Galliott fell against the sofa during a power cut at his home in Somerset, southern England, and could not free himself because of back problems.

He remained stuck for 60 hours in that position — during which time a bottle of whisky rolled close enough for him to open it — until a neighbour became concerned that Galliott’s curtains had not been drawn for two days.

“The whole settee tipped over catching me like a rat in a trap,” the 65-year-old told the broadcaster.

“I took a sip of (the whisky) and thought, well this isn’t too bad.”

Galliott, who spent five days in hospital recovering, admitted to becoming concerned after going so long without food or water: “It felt like a lifetime, you think you’re there forever.”

He told the broadcaster that he now kept a bottle of whisky next to the sofa “just in case.”

Customer complaints

Filed under: Other Bad Jokes or Useless Crap — Bad Jim @ 7:24 pm

Contributed by Ave the geriatric Biker in Montana
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, ‘Are all of those kids yours?’

He replied, ‘No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.’

January 27, 2009

Link of the Day

Filed under: Link of the Week, Politics as usual — Bad Jim @ 7:55 pm

Link of the Day compliments of Cardinal “Blackhat” Ron in Houston.
This is excellent Bad Jim material!

January 26, 2009

Goat arrested

Filed under: Clean, In the News — Bad Jim @ 6:29 am

Contributed by *Black Hat* in Houston
Goat detained over armed robbery
Fri Jan 23, 2009
LAGOS (Reuters) - Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

“The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat,” Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

“We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat,” he said.

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa’s most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

January 23, 2009

Ethnic dilemma

Filed under: Clean, Ethnic/Regional Jokes — Bad Jim @ 9:08 pm

Hope y’all enjoyed National Pie Day!
When I was born, I was BLACK ,
When I grew up, I was BLACK ,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK ,
When I was scared, I was BLACK ,
When I was sick, I was BLACK ,
And when I die, I’ll still be BLACK .
NOW, You *white* folks….
When you’re born, you’re PINK,
When you grow up, you’re WHITE ,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you’re cold, you turn BLUE,
When you’re scared, you’re YELLOW,
When you get sick, you’re GREEN,
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE ,
And when you die, you look GRAY.
So who y’all callin’
COLORE D folks?

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