Badjim.com

MS 150 fundrasing update:
The ride is this weekend. Zack surpassed his $2000 goal.
Cora and Frank in Reno and Professor P. at Rice University, thank you for your generous donations.
There is still time to contribute at: http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/TXHBikeEvents?px=3919313&pg=personal&fr_id=12962

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s voice from the kitchen.
“What would you like for dinner, my Love? Chicken, beef, or lamb?”
I said, “Thank you, I*ll have chicken..”
She replied “You’re having soup, a55hole. I was talking to the cat!”

Hats off to Jim P in Damascus, Hugh Jass in Houston, Angie in Austin and Sagging Tray George in Colorado for making generous donantions to Wackozacko’s MS 150 fundraiser.
And let’s not forget Zack’s first “corporate” donation! Thanks to Head Bozo Scott at DeFalco’s Home Wine and Beer Supplies in Houston!
Still plenty of time to contribute (and get your name in light!):

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/TXHBikeEvents?px=3919313&pg=personal&fr_id=12962

Colleagues Praise Massa for Reaching Around the Aisle
Always Groping for Solutions, Staffers Say

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) Providing some pushback to the criticism he has suffered over the past week, colleagues of former Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) praised him today, with one Republican staffer saying, “Congressman Massa was always eager to reach around the aisle.”

Tracy Klugian, the GOP congressional aide who offered that defense, said that Rep. Massa “could always be counted on to grope for solutions.”

Mr. Klugian described Rep. Massa as a tireless worker: “He might be taking a shower with his staff, but he was still keeping an eye on things the whole time.”

As for his legislative style, Mr. Klugian said, “No matter how ticklish the fight became, Eric was always very hands-on. He would grab a problem by the balls and not let go.”

In a related story, the Bureau of Labor Statistics said the number of Americans making cheap jokes about Rep. Massa rose to 48.5 million this week.

“I think the country*s new obsession with Rep. Massa is a very positive development,” said golfer Tiger Woods.

My son Zack (aka Wackozacko) is doing the MS bicycle ride again this year. Any support you can give him will be totally appreciated by his Bad Father.
PS: You’ll also get a mention on the jokelist!!
Note to all my “high roller” friends working overseas: You can use the tax deduction!!
Here’s his spiel:

Hello Generous Supporters,
It’s that time of year again. I will be riding the Houston to Austin MS150 Bike Ride this April for the 6th time, or 7th I can’t keep track. Last year 13,000 riders raised a total of $17.3 million to help the more than 20,000 Texans living with MS. This year we hope to raise even more and we need your continued support.
My fund raising goal for this year is $2000. I have started my campaign with a $250 donation myself. Visit my personal MS website http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/TXHBikeEvents?px=3919313&pg=personal&fr_id=12962 for more information and to make online donations.
On behalf of the MS Society and all those affected by this debilitating disease, I thank you for your continued support.
Zack Harper

Thanks to everyone that supported Angie’s MS Walk with donations. She raised over $1100 and a few donations are still arriving. The walk was held over the weekend in Kemah, Texas.

Bad Jim’s Home Leave was too short as always. He’s back in Tanggu until at least Christmas.

A blonde goes into a Tim Horton’s and notices there*s a *roll up the rim* sticker on her coffee cup.
So she unfolds it and starts screaming,
“I’ve won a motorhome! I’ve won a motorhome!”
The waitress says, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize is car ..?”
But the blonde keeps on screaming, “I’ve won a motorhome! I’ve won a motorhome!”
Finally, the manager comes over and says,”Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken.
You couldn’t have possibly won a motorhome because we didn’t have that as a prize.”
The blonde says, “No, it’s not a mistake. I’ve won a motorhome!”
And she hands the cup to the manager and HE reads…

“W I N A B A G E L”

Thanks to Skatehead Eileen in Houston for her contribution to Angie’s MS Walk fundraiser.

Oldie from Coonass Kim:
A cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Wyoming . He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, “If you ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?”

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, “Nah, you go ahead.”

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili back into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too.”

Thanks to Jim P, Eagle Eye Steve, Pussyhair, Alex the Meadmaker, Hugh Jass and Sagging Tray George for contributing to Angie’s MS Walk fund raiser. She’s close to making her goal of $1000.
http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=1845788&pg=personal&fr_id=11721&s_src=boundlessfundraising&s_subsrc=stream&ref=nf

From Terry *Welders do it with hotter rods* Takahashi:
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, she says:

‘Well, that’s great….that’s just great….some asshole’s got my pen!’

Read the note below from my step-daughter Angie then go to
http://walktxh.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=1845788&pg=personal&fr_id=11721

and please make a donation. Hey, if everyone on the jokelist only donated $10 she would raise $1,500, And if all you overpaid, ex-pat construction and oilfield trash donated over US$100 . . . you do the math! Grin.

Why I Fight MS

Having multiple sclerosis means that you may not be able to walk when you wake up. Or that you may suddenly have impaired vision. Or that your memory will fail you for no apparent reason. The symptoms of MS are different, and devastating, for everyone - the only certainty is that it will affect yet another person every hour of every day. One person, very dear to me, that MS has affected is my dad, Jerry Avera. I participate in the MS walk annually, in hope that one day this terrible disease will have a cure. The money raised will go to research and awareness and will help in furthering the movement to an MS free world.

Why I Walk

I;ve registered for the MS Walk because I want to do something for the people who have been diagnosed - and because I want to do everything to prevent more people from learning what it means to live with this disease. Today, there is no cure for multiple sclerosis, and with a diagnosis occurring most frequently between the ages of 20 and 50, many individuals face a lifetime filled with unpredictability.

Why You Should Sponsor Me

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society will use funds collected from the MS Walk to not only support research for a cure tomorrow, but also to provide programs which address the needs of people living with MS today. Because we choose to walk for those who sometimes can’t, because we choose to donate to the MS Walk, we are getting closer to the hour when no one will have to hear the words, “You have MS.”

http://walktxh.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=1845788&pg=personal&fr_id=11721